It's Not It's Okay - Anuj Tiwari - Ebook download as PDF File .pdf), Text File .txt) or read book online. A good real life love story of anuj:). PDF | The measurement of the average intra-national distance has become the crucial It's Not Right, But It's Okay: On the Measurement of Intra-and International Neuere Anwendungsfelder der Input-Output-Analyse ( Tagungsband). Book. It's Not Right but It's Okay book. Read 98 reviews from the world's largest community for readers. ' if we have a past that we aren't particularly pr.

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The birds are chattering and the morning has begun its many activities, yet everything seems gloomy to her. She tries to divert her mind by finding reasons to help herself get through the sadness, but fails time and again. She goes back to the balcony to get some air and looks into the distance. Thoughts flood her mind. Thoughts she doesnt want to listen to. Does everyone go through this phase in life or is it just me who is suffering?

When we run away from things, they just seem to haunt us and never really leave. She begins thinking about the past. There are so many memories, ones which made her happy.

Yet the overpowering memories are the ones associated with negative emotions. She thinks of her present, the frustrations which seem to have gripped her life.

She is tensed. Her head is aching. I can have a better future. I can. My past doesnt rule my future. These are words Arjun has taught her. But somehow, these powerful words wilt in front of her present. Her friends have been supportive of her, asking her to be strong, but she cannot find a reason to go on. Am I responsible for all that has happened to me?

Will this affect my family and friends? I cannot afford to trouble them anymore. I have messed up too many times in the past. I deserve nothing better. She lights a cigarette and takes a long puff, stubbing it within moments. Its tough for me, I cant live like this. If I want to survive I need to consult a psychiatrist.

Otherwise, its not worth living. Life has not been kind to her. She understands this. She looks up and then looks down four floors. She sits softly on the railing and sticks one leg out.

Suddenly her cellphone rings. It is Arjun. She ignores the call. She closes her eyes and takes a long breath. I am sorry, she murmurs.

Suddenly she hears a known voice from behind. What the heck are you doing? Charu rushes to be by her side and pulls her inside. What do you think you are doing? Charu makes her sit on a chair near the balcony and holds her tightly. She bursts into tears within seconds. Everything will be fine. We all are with you, she assures her, before taking her inside the room. Life is all about perspective. Is it not? A Suspicious Mother Arjun has just turned twenty-six and she thinks he has matured quite a bit in the last few years.

His sense of humour is something she does not appreciate. In fact, she also does not like the female friends he has and becomes especially uncomfortable with the ones who pamper him. She is, after all, an Indian mother who cares too much and sometimes can be quite possessive. But he is not some playboy.

He is a genuine person with whom people like spending time, especially because he is funny. However, for mothers, insecurity remains a constant companion.

Arjuns loving family constantly worries about his marriage. They believe in girls getting married by twenty-one and boys by twenty-five according to the Social Opinion Factor SOF. He is an eligible bachelor in every way. Arjun thinks that in life, ones purpose is to make others happy. However, he doesnt have many close friends because he cannot find many people who share his wavelength.

Sometimes he wonders if there is a problem with his attitude. His closest friends have assured him it is not. He keeps a positive attitude towards life and is a good listener. He manages his time well. He is well informed and one cannot deny his logic in an argument. He believes that everything happens for a reason; and sometimes these reasons emerge out of our own actions.

Sometimes they are good, and sometimes they are bad. Today he is visiting Bareilly, his hometown, before he heads to a book event in Kolkata. He informs his mom of his whereabouts, in fact he does so even when he is in Mumbai, and she notoriously keeps track of his social media updates on her cellphone.

His mom is loving and possessive. His father, like most Indian fathers, follows his moms lead in life. Arjun is from a Brahmin family and this family is planning to look for a girl with whom he can spend the rest of his life happily.

They are worried about him because they think hell take years to choose someone, but in fact, he is really not choosy at all. He does not believe in being selective when finding a life partner. He feels if he keeps in mind a few well thought out life principles, the ideal woman will walk into his life on her own.

Moreover, he claims that true love exists and hopes to find love someday. His views always have a logic to them that cannot be ignored. He believes there is always a right time for everything.

One cannot have sex before the age of fourteen because one will not enjoy it. One cannot have babies at the age of eighteen because theyre too young to be a good parent.

In the same way, one should not get married until one actually feels like getting married. You cant be so serious about these issues, his friends tell him. He simply smiles during those moments. So how is the food in Mumbai? Arjun is accustomed to royal treatment at home, including delicious home-cooked meals which lead him to the kitchen, where he spends time talking to his mom.

I miss you and your food, of course. What do you put in halwa by the way? I put nothing special in it, and stop eating while you peel the peas, she says and softly pats him on his head making him drop the peas back in the bowl.

He feels good when she pats him on his head, it shows on his face. I wanted to discuss something with you, she says, wiping her hands with a kitchen towel.

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Is this about a girl? I am not joking. Yes, my fathers boss, say. What happened? She grins. I feel that you have grown up and you need someone to spend your life with. You live alone in Mumbai and you come home for a week or two after months. According to her, if one is a grown up, they cannot live alone. Are all mothers playing a big role in raising the Indian population?

He laughs while questioning her. Mom, I just turned twenty-six in November, and I dont want to marry till the time I fall for someone. Arjun understands that his mom wants to keep a check on the mischievous life he has in Mumbai. I am just asking you to find a well-educated girl for yourself and that too after your sisters marriage.

I am not saying this on the spur of the moment. You live alone in Mumbai, so far from us. So at least there should be a girl who can take care of you and manage things for you.

I am getting old, you know, she says as she opens the fridge and takes out a packet of cashew. Mom, I will marry a girl not an air hostess or someone who can travel with me. He holds her from the back. And I really dont want an arranged marriage. His moms frown is enough to show that she is not in favour of love marriage.

Every secret conversation between mom and son takes place in the kitchen. Its a practice which has been going on since Arjun was a child.

He always sits on the slab and helps her prepare the salad or chop chillies, or sometimes he washes the rice grains before cooking. Times have changed and he now debates over topics like love and arranged marriage with her.

Your views are absolutely correct and I respect them but times have changed. How can someone marry without even knowing the person? Hmm is all she says in response.

Her Hmm does not satisfy him and he continues to convince her of the validity of a love marriage. Listen, marriage is not just about making your sex life What? She suddenly turns towards him leaving everything aside. I mean, marriage is not just about making ones affair official on a legal document. It involves a lot more responsibilities. Moreover, to tie two families with such high expectations and that too for a lifetime is demanding.

Look at my father. She pretends to work but intently listens to everything he has to say, all the while choosing not to reply. At what time do you have to leave for Kolkata tomorrow, Arjun? Before he can even reply, she says, Dinner is ready. Call everyone, Arjun. Mom, what happened? Are you making this face because I leave tomorrow or because I am debating with you?

What if I say both? This happens every time. Whenever Arjun is about to return, his mom becomes emotional. Mom, its been eight years that I have been away from home, and you still become emotional every time I leave. Arjun tries to console her. She ignores him but Arjun is sure that she is going to cry as the time of his departure comes closer. Dont worry, I wont run away, he says, trying to pacify her as he knows its bothering her but she cannot bring herself to talk about it. But be careful about our status in society.

You live there and you must be meeting many girls, but be careful because I wont support you at every step. She puts a chapati on his plate while waiting for others to join them. What if I fall in love with someone? And what if that someone falls for me? Arjun holds her shoulders while she keeps the plates on the table for others.

Mom, listen, please. I promise, I wont hurt you by making commitments to anyone without your permission. Can you please smile now? Okay, now sit and have dinner, she says, turning her back to him. Arjun knows she has smiled secretly. Okay, lets make a dealmy choice, your permission. Arjun says, as everyone starts gathering at the dining table. His dad sits on his right and his elder sister Nee sits to the left.

Her name is Neeraj, but he calls her Nee because its the nickname he gave her since he learned to talk. These days, his Nanu is also at home. Kusum, why dont you join us as well? He has just crossed over into his sixties but the older he gets, the more liberal he becomes.

This is what Arjun has come to understand. This singular and surprising aspect of his ageing has brought them closer in the last few years. You can start. I will join in some time, his mom replies from kitchen.

That has been her nature for as long as Arjun can remember. To have her meal right at the end after serving everyone. She comes to the hall and pours daal in his bowl, and refills all their glasses with water.

His Nanu had heard the conversation between Arjun and his mom. With his experiences his Nanu weighs in on love and arranged marriages. He feels lucky to have a grandparent who gets better with age, just like fine wine, and who discusses Arjuns life openly without any reservations. You should register yourself on matrimonial portals. There are so many options and you can meet someone well suited, his Nanu says. Not a bad option?

Yes, try that. You must. Nanu, are you sure you want me to register on a matrimonial portal? Arjun asks with a smile. He continues, There is no need for that. Someone will surely come my way someday. As of now, I need to pack my bag. I have to leave for Kolkata.

If I stay here for a few more weeks Ill surely be married to someone by the end of it. By the way, Bong girls are beautiful though they are clever as well, his Nanu says with a hearty laugh. Nanu, Arjun says, embarrassed.

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Yeah, I know. I have spent nine years of my life there, his Nanu says, smiling. You must concentrate on your work. There is no hurry, okay? And dont listen to him, his mom says, her anxiety showing on her face. She continues, Well, Anushka is also going to Kolkata with you, right? And where will she stay? Dont worry, Mom, shes not staying with me. She has relatives in Kolkata, he teases her. Pack your bag and dress appropriately wherever you go. Yes, Ma, I will.

By the way, she is not coming. I just got her message. How can she ditch you at the last moment? Anyway, you take care and sleep now. You have an early morning. The next day Arjun flies to the city of joy, though he knows he will miss Anushka. They had made plans to meet in the city, but her change of mind has dampened his mood.

Anushka is a friend who has always helped him in his personal and professional life since he was in college. She is from a Punjabi family and stays in Delhi.

She was a year senior to him in college. After her engineering, she joined Vccenture Services in Bangalore as a Business Analyst, and a year later Arjun joined the same organization in Mumbai.

When Arjun went through a tragic breakup and was in depression, Anushka helped him through the bitter six-month phase. They are like soul siblings. They know almost everything about each other, sometimes more than a friend should.

She goes shopping with him whenever he is in Delhi. He shares all his problems with her. He drops her home after nights out in clubs and pubs. She wakes him up early in the morning and then they continue to talk till the evening. They have shared the same glass of drink, even the same bed, but they are just friends. The best of friends. The afternoon is buzzing with possibilities. He imagines the new faces he will meet, the new stories he will encounter, and the new experiences which will enrich him.

Yet the crowds around make him anxious. He feels he should listen to his mom and get into a relationship. By getting engaged at least someone will be there to pamper him or choose the colour of the shirt he is going to wear or the hairstyle he should keep.

However, his mom wants him to get married without getting into an affair or a relationship. Sometimes during these moments he feels alone, but he is courageous enough to deal with it on his own. He is not scared of the future, or of the successes and failures that are headed his way. He has made peace with the possible ups and downs of life. After a cab ride, a run through some streets and lanes and crossing the tracks of the historical trams of Kolkata, He finally reaches South City Mall at 4.

He crosses the central area of the mall and takes the escalators. He enters a quaint bookstore the venue for the authors meet. Why dont they keep it in an open area, like at the centre of the mall? Arjun thinks while stepping inside the bookstore. I think I am not that big yet. I mean, I am not that big an author, but I will be one someday, and then I will interact with my readers in a larger space. Everyone settles down as the host announces the commencement of their meet.

He takes a sip of water, as his nervousness on meeting new people makes his throat go dry constantly. A few girls look inside through the glass windows curiously. He remembers what his Nanu saidBong girls are beautiful but they are modern and clever too. Well, its time for me to see how clever these Bong girls are. I hope I have an interesting discussion with them. Arjun is not tall but has broad shoulders and the blue blazer he has worn falls perfectly on his frame.

His dark hair and solemn brow give him a look of being introspective, observant and analytical, while his boyish grin makes him approachable. He wears square-framed spectacles which keep sliding down his small nose.

He has a light beard on his face which gives him that rugged look. His natural charm and friendly disposition make it easier for people to ask him questions and get to know him better. I am the best. He is energized and in high spirits and keeps repeating these lines to himself. He has been using this trick since his college days when he wasnt sure of what to say during a presentation.

Arjun talks about relationships, friendship and life. He reads a few chapters from his book too. The session becomes interactive and interesting with time. It takes forty-five minutes to end the event which is sooner than he expected. Now, it is time to answer some questions from the audience.

Someone from the crowd asks, What do you think about Indian families and their opinions about love and arranged marriage? Arjun smiles and remembers the discussion he had last night with his family. He answers after taking some time. Im looking for the answer myself. I am a victim of the same type of family. He doesnt take much time getting comfortable with the audience and soon everyone is listening to him with rapt attention.

Even the host is giggling standing near him. You have a good sense of humour, the host mutters into Arjuns ears as he takes another sip before requesting for the last question of the session. Credit goes to my family, he says with a funny expression. Both of them laugh.

Arjun realizes that he has answered almost every question well, barring a few. Last question, Arjun, someone says from the back. What do you think about true love in todays world? Does it really exist or is it just a term which is used in books and never found in hearts. Arjun follows the voice in order to find who has asked this question. At the extreme end he spots the face and smiles before answering her question.

She gets up and repeats her question. Hi, this is Anushka. Can you tell us something about the similarity between the love you have experienced in your own life and the one you write about in your books? Arjun is surprised but does not let it appear on his face. He pretends she is an unknown face. Love still exists in hearts, not in books. Books exist to make them live forever. And to answer your question specifically, there is nothing called true or fake love or book-ish love for me.

Its completely about how we feel about someone, and I believe if you love someone you love them forever. So, whatever I have experienced in life I have tried to translate it in my books. I feel lucky to be able to convey them in words.

Well, I just want to say, if we have a past that we arent particularly proud of, it doesnt mean that we cant have a promising future.

To those of us who have a great present, lets cherish these moments and look forward to a wonderful future. The session gets over in the next few minutes and Arjun desperately looks for Anushka in the crowd. He is reminded of the first time he met her. It was when she was gorging on a hot dog in a college cafeteria, and he had accidentally laughed at her loudly. Though he had to pay a price for it later, it was all worth it because he got a friend like her.

Are you looking for me, Arjun? He turns back and notices the wide stunning smile and the adorable dimples that have become more prominent over the last couple of years. Anushka looks beautiful. The innocent yet playful expression in her eyes; the pronounced cheekbones and her long eye lashes; her shiny long honey-coloured hair, red luscious lips, a heart-shaped face and her luminous black eyes; her understated beauty is enough to make many men go weak in their knees.

Arjun smiles and gives her a hug. If you have come here just for me, it is the nicest surprise anyone has ever given me.

Though I doubt that you had it in mind to surprise me, he says. He takes out a chocolate from the inner pocket of his blazer. He usually carries one, especially if hes going for an event. I know surprising people is not your thing. So are you going out of your way just to show that you care for me?

He gives her the chocolate. This is for you. And why dont you start wearing blue lenses. Yous look smoking hot in them. Shut up. I look pretty anyway. By the way, since when did you start keeping chocolates in your pocket? Is there someone special in your life? These help when people ask tough questions and I cant answer them, he says, taking out a piece of chocolate and popping it into his mouth.

They both have a hearty laugh. So you didnt tell me yet. What is the reason you are in Kolkata? You were supposed to come with me, right?

Yes, I am on vacations with family. I have come with my chacha and chachi. Just to spend time with my family. Moreover, I was following your updates on Facebook, so thought it would be fun to give you a surprise. I extended my stay here by one more day and have come to meet you. By the way that was a nice line you read earlierif we have a past that we arent particularly proud of, it doesnt mean that we cant have a promising future.

Thats so true. You have learnt so many things from me in the last couple of years. Yes, you are responsible for my good and bad habits. Arjun smiles looking at her. Oh please, not your bad ones, she says, still eating the piece of chocolate. Sometimes, you just need a shoulder to cry on or someone to laugh with, and that is what best friends are for.

Anushka has always been that friend to Arjun. So hows Aunty? Arjun asks. They both come out of the bookstore and walk towards Coffee World. Mom is fine. And hows Angira. I got your message but didnt reply because I wanted to talk about it over the phone instead of doing it over messages. Now that you are here, we should talk. Karaoke Night Angira is Anuhskas younger sister. She always wanted to start a venture of her own but she was confused.

Left with no other choice, she joined Delhi College of Engineering. She stayed in the hostel with her friends, which was a big transition from living with her parents. She became a gutsy, outgoing girl.

After spending four years in college, she wants to take the risk of studying fashion designing in Mumbai in order to start her own business.

She believes Punjabis are meant to do business. Few days ago, he got a message from Anushka that Angira is going through a difficult phase, one that everyone goes through in lifeLove. The foundation of every problem, and sometimes, a solution too. Arjun and Anushka enter Coffee World. He takes his blazer off and they both sit in a cozy corner of the coffee shop. She wants to go to Mumbai, says Anushka. So whats the problem if she wants to come to Mumbai?

Arjun asks There is no problem but after what happened in the past, Mom wont allow her to go out of town in this situation. She looks worried and fiddles with the menu card as Arjun places an order for two cold coffees. Which situation? The waiter places two cups of coffee on the table.

She is taking sleeping pills and Mom is worried about her. She doesnt listen to us. Everyone goes through a break up, but it doesnt mean that one has to ruin ones life over it. Now she says she wants to do fashion designing. Arjun pushes a cup of coffee on her side of the table. Its obvious that he cares for her and gets worried when she is in trouble. If shes so interested, she can just study from a good college in Delhi itself.

There are so many good institutes in Delhi. She doesnt have to go to Mumbai, he advises. Anushka tears the sugar pouch and pours it into her cup. You want some sugar, too? Mulling over something, Arjun politely says no. Dont worry, things will be fine. Ill talk to her if you want, he says. Yeah, sure. That might help. She continues taking long sips of the cold coffee. You know what, last week, at the dinner table we were talking about random things and then Angira started teasing me, saying that if I dont get married to you, she will.

They both burst out laughing, forgetting that they were at a coffee shop. What she needs is a good college, he says, trying his best to digress. That should distract her from these random thoughts. No, I am sure she likes you. Should I bring her to Mumbai? Shes mad. You guys getting together will be the perfect combinationone will love me and the other will care for me.

Shut up and listen, she cuts him short but is herself filled with a sense of uncertainty over how Arjun will respond to what shes about to tell him. Yes, sure, he replies with enthusiasm. Why dont you come to Delhi with me? Before Arjun can say anything, she adds, And you are coming to Delhi next week anyhow. So prepone your schedule if you have any.

You can meet Mom as well and tell her that you live in Mumbai. That will help Angira get her permission to go to Mumbai. I am coming to Delhi next month, so well surely meet then, he responds. I am talking about this week, Arjun, she presses him. He is utterly confused now. Why is she insisting on him meeting her mom so suddenly? Girls never tell everything at once, their secrets unfurl like in a game of cards. He knows that by the end of this, he is going to be either one of thema Jack or a Joker.

But whats the matter? And its not difficult for you to come with me tomorrow. You know Mom, she gives weight to your words. I just want to help Angira start a new life, she says as she stirs her coffee. Anushka, my flight tickets are booked, Arjun pleads, clasping his hands, still trying to figure out why shes so insistent.

When you are in trouble, you just need one person to pull you out of it. In his case, it was Anushka. He cant find a reason to say no to her.

In fact, he doesnt even want to because in his worst days, it was she who stood by him when there was no one else. He decides to go to Delhi next week. Managing his itinerary should not be a problem. I expect you can afford cancelation charges and dont worry, Ill book the tickets for you, she says.

Its not about the ticket, its Then you are coming to Delhi with me.

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Ill cancel your ticket and get the other one with me, she says, grinning at him. Heads you win and tails I lose. Nicely played, Miss Anushka. Yes, I have been smart since our college days. That I am sure of, because in childhood you must have been really dumb!

Shut up! I was always smarter than you at least. And dont forget that I know all the naughty things you tried on your girlfriends during our college days. I was immature at that time, he says, trying to avoid having that discussion.

Okay, Ill be coming with you. Over and out. By the way, its only you and me travelling together this time, so you can be sure youll have a good time with me.

You are so smart, he says Since the day I was born, she winks while sipping her coffee. After spending some time exploring the streets of Kolkata, they head back. The next day, they travel to Delhi. Arjun feels ignored as Anushka constantly texts someone on their way to the arrival terminal at the New Delhi airport.

He finds this behaviour a little discourteous. After trying to ignore it for a while, he cant take it anymore and speaks up.

Who is messaging you continuously? They are both walking in the lobby of the airport. Somebody is feeling jealous, is it? I am not feeling jealous, I am feeling ignored. There is a difference, isnt there? He looks at her faking the expression of being in pain. She starts laughing. You havent changed in all these years.

I think you still feel jealous. Dont worry, I am not messaging any guy, she added after a while. Despite their differences, the two have developed a platonic relationship that Arjun wont risk for anything. Its a universal fact of friendshipthat you cant see your best friend with anyone else. I am not saying that, he says, trying to cover up his blunder. Im sorry. I was texting Angira. Shes just about to reach the airport to receive us.

I think shes running late. She types out her last message and keeps her cellphone in the back pocket of her denim. Now, what are you trying to find down there? Nice, isnt it? Yes, very much, now lets go, he says, ignoring her words.

Her cellphone rings. Where are you? He starts setting his hair and licking his lips to make them look fresh and lively. He calls them the natural and instant make-up tool for guys. He cannot pinch his cheeks in public to make them blush. Fortunately, he is never conscious in front of Anushka, who knows everything about himfrom his waist size to his snoring. By the time you get ready, I will be there.

So no need to come, Angy. I will be there in thirty minutes. She looks at him and continues, Yes, he is with me, we both are coming. She disconnects the call and keeps the phone back in her pocket. Once in the cab, they gossip all the way to Anushkas home in Daryaganj. Anushka rings the bell.

Standing at the door, a little girl smiles looking at her and says hello. Hi, how are you? Anushka waves at her and smirks. I am good. The young girl paddles her cycle away while giving her a flying kiss. Even kids are quite impressed by your jolly nature, Arjun says, raising his eyebrows. Thats in my blood, she says with a certain amount of smugness. As usual Arjun rearranges his clothes and sets his hair again. This sweet behaviour of yours doesnt work on me. Arjun flashes a smile. You need to go to the doctor then, she sniggers.

Creaking and groaning at the hinges, the door opens. Dimpy aunty greets them. Arjun greets her by touching her feet. Where is Angy? Anushka asks, throwing her bag on the sofa. Arjun notices things have changed in Anushkas home since he was last there. She left to pick you up at the airport. But once you said you will come on your own, she decided to stop over at a friends home. She should be home soon, Dimpy aunty says with a smile, having seen Arjun after a long while.


She considers him to be her own son and Arjun has always been close to her. So you got a pug, Arjun says while playing with the dog. These girls dont listen to me, so I needed someone at home who will listen to me, she says. That was a pathetic joke, Mamma, Anushka says while sitting on the sofa. Angira has been so careless. She left my hair dryer on in the room. Thats why I need this, Dimpy aunty says, pointing at the pug.

Mom, how does this pug help you switch off the hair dryer? Anushka asks defiantly. Of course, he barks whenever something wrong happens.

Okay, Mom, we got it. Dimpy aunty winks at Arjun before asking, So how was the journey? It was bound to be great because I came with her. Well, actually Arjun wanted to meet you, thats why he has come with me, Anushka says, looking at him.

He feels a little weird for a moment but he has to smile in front of Aunty. He enquires about whats going on in their household.

Anushka says sorry to him by holding her ears when her mom is not looking.

Its great that you have come to meet us. By the way, any plans to apply some of that romance in real life or will it continue in books only?

Dimpy aunty teases him before going into the kitchen. Im very hungry, just give me something to eat, he says. You havent changed at all, Aunty runs her hand on his head. Years have passed but Arjun has maintained his relationships in a way that they only become stronger with time. Dimpy aunty is cheerful but also calm. She has a romantic husband who spends most of his time with her but these days he is travelling on some business.

They have raised two girls together. While one is there with Arjun in the room, the other is yet to make an appearance. Ya mamma, I am hungry too, Anushka demands some food. Just give me ten minutes, Aunty replies from the kitchen.

Arjun, come, I will show you my room. They go to the other room. It used to be the library when you had come last. We used to have such great discussions there, Arjun says Yes, you were boring since college days, she chuckles and takes him to her room.

The room is dark when they enter. Anushka switches on the lights. It seems the room is shared by Angira and Anushka. Arjun finds Angiras notebook on the table, a few cosmetics like lip-gloss, eyeliner, a bra in the corner of the bed and few of Anushkas pictures, with Angira and Dimpy aunty, hanging on the wall just above the table.

Anushka hides the clothes under the pillow before Arjun notices them. The X theory says that the most motivated workers are those whose stimulus is external, such as fear, coercion and tangible rewards. The Y theory says that the most motivated workers are those whose stimulus is internal, like the desire, the conviction and the search for self-realization. Almost all relevant research indicates that individuals are, in fact, motivated by both internal and external factors.

However, Y theory has remained at the base of the empowerment literature for several decades, and there is almost no talk of X theory.

The result is that the "false delegation of power" has become the dominant approach in managerial training thinking and books. The thorny managing reality Managing people in the real world is very, very difficult, and there are no simple solutions. Most managers live under heavy pressure. They take supervisory positions because they are excellent at something, but not usually because they are exceptionally good at managing.

Once promoted, most new managers receive little effective management training. The instructions and books they get are saturated with the idea of a false power delegation, few of them dealing with the "thorny" reality of management: It is not always possible to hire "stars. Dealing with failure is a significant part of management; Employees can't always focus on their strengths as there is a lot of work in progress and they are hired to do everything that needs to be done; Not always are employees entitled to a compliment.

And those who deserve it usually want tangible rewards, not just praise. Don't be afraid of being a boss: Be an extraordinary manager! Don't be afraid to be boss. In fact, this is fundamental. The boss is the most important person in the workplace. Everyone is under increasing pressure. Employees are expected to work faster, harder, and smarter. They aren't willing to wait for the long-term rewards.

They rely on their immediate boss, more than anyone else, to meet their core professional needs and expectations and cope with all the situations that come up at work. They want to know, "How do things work here?

What do you want from me? What will I get for my effort today? It is much more than that. After all, in everyday life, the boss defines his own experience at work. There is a consensus about this: several studies point out that the number one factor in productivity, high morale and talent retention is the relationship between employees and their immediate boss. Get in the habit of managing every day Most managers are so busy with their own "real work" that they see management as a burden.

They run from it as many evade physical exercise. They only manage when they are forced to do so. As a result, they and their employees are out of shape, and unexpected problems crop up.

When the situation goes out of control, these managers can no longer avoid responsibility and are forced to take action. At this point, however, they have a difficult task at hand: trying to run a marathon without proper physical training.

First manage yourself daily Effective management closely resembles physical fitness: the hard part is getting into the habit of doing it every day, no matter what obstacles you have to face.

So stop running away. Don't lose sight of your real priorities.

Commit yourself to doing this every day, as if your health depended on it. Start by reserving one hour a day as a sacred time for management.

During this time, don't put out fires. Use this period to manage in advance, before anything goes wrong. This is just for you to keep in shape. Then manage everyone When you talk to an employee face to face, talk about expectations, ask for an account of their performance, review the results of their work or give feedback, there is no hiding place.

In a team meeting, however, it is easy to hide - both for the manager and for the subordinates to him. Bosses often feel more comfortable giving sensitive news or passing feedback to the entire team than talking privately with each other.

The problem is that sensitive news or feedback often goes to just one or two people. The rest of the staff is stunned and outraged. Just the people you're trying to "manage" on this team may not even realize that it's their business. Talk about work If you want to be the friend of your employees, go out for a beer with them after work.

But at work, you need to be the boss. Your role is to keep everyone focused and doing their best every day. The best way to establish rapport with your subordinates is by talking about work.

Work is what you have in common. In fact, that's the reason you have a relationship, to begin with. When you establish a relationship of camaraderie talking about work, you are decreasing the likelihood of conflicts and at the same time building a connection that will survive them if they ever arise.

So talk about the work that has been done and what needs to be done. On how to avoid pitfalls, find shortcuts, ensure the availability of resources. About goals, deadlines, guidelines, and specifications. Talk, talk, talk about work. Everything will go much better. You don't need to scream "Go! As one senior manager of a software company said, "No one's going to make me go out screaming to the entire company: 'Go! And to be effective, this stimulus can't be artificial. It needs to be authentic.

Often, it's so genuine that you don't even realize you're doing it.

It’s Not Right…but It’s Okay

Don't wait for problems to start managing The problem is that most managers only manage employees when they encounter a recurring performance failure, such as deadlines, poor quality work, behavior issues, or harmful behavior toward clients or co-workers. When the problem persists, the manager decides to call the employee to the management room: "Your performance isn't good, and we need to talk for a while until 'we' can resolve the problem with these meetings.

Those who, apparently, have no potential, must also be observed. There are reports of less talented individuals performing better than the stars. Just get the best out of each one. For each person, a different approach If each of us is different, why manage them similarly? There are those that only produce under pressure; others need the maximum of space to have the best performance.

Knowing this difference is what makes a leader an effective boss. Personal responsibility must be an effective process You have just returned from your company's annual management conference, which theme was personal responsibility.We Party All Night Iona waves her hand in excitement. She decides against texting him and scrolls down.

Did you tell papa? Hi guys, come on in, Mansi says, getting up from the corner of the hall. Anushka helped him through the bitter six-month phase. Though he had to pay a price for it later.

IRINA from Boise City
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